Saturday, January 29, 2011

List: Possible Reasons Why My Cat Is Fat

Is on a “calorie-counting” diet but can’t count.

Does not use rowing machine enough.

Orders out during the day.

Does not want my other fat cat to feel self-conscious.

Blew out a knee while attacking a burglar.

Will not switch to margarine.

Surreptitiously takes bites out of me as I sleep.

Diet pills make him bitchy.

Will only do ab crunches if treats are involved.

Idolizes Glen “Big Baby” Davis.

Father was also fat.

Is depressed about the economy.

Hot Pockets.

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